Church

I'm on my upstairs computer right now (as opposed to my laptop) and my posts look very pink on this computer!!! They look way more purple on my laptop!!! Its so weird!!! I like the purple better!

So anyway, I sang today in church!! It went okay. I was really nervous beforehand and I felt like I was going to pass out and throw up at the same time. Then, I got onstage (because of course, we moved to the auditorium and now the worship team has to be onstage) and I felt better. I was surprisingly comfortable! Though it is weird with the monitor things that they have facing the team so we can hear ourselves sing. It was very weird and difficult to get used to...X/

Overall it went well.
However, they had a prayer for the guy at my church who died. And since I didn't break down last night, I broke down this morning on stage. So I was crying in front of about 150 people while trying and probably failing to sing at that point. And I had no where to put my tissues!!! I was wearing a dress-like thing, so I couldn't even put them in my pocket and there was definitely no trash can on stage!!! Aaaahhhh!!!! (Its sad that the thing I was freaking out about more was that I had no where to put my tissues...)

My Dad had a theory about my crying (which I wouldn't have normally done in front of so many people. I would usually be able to control my emotions). He said that God was probably using my crying on stage to help someone in the audience - kinda to let them see that it is okay to cry about it if they need to. If I saw someone up on stage crying I would think Well at least I'm not her! And then I would feel okay about crying in public. In the car, my dad said jokingly, "Its makes you feel kinda violated, doesn't it? Being made a fool of to help other people?"
I just laughed. I dunno if I feel violated, I mean I'm open to being used by God for stuff like helping other people. It was embarrassing, but it wasn't as bad as it may seem. I always kind of pray about that. Not exactly that I will be made a fool of, but that I can in some way be an inspiration to people or be an example or something, but this works too X3.

I had a lot of people come and talk to me. It was weird. I'm not usually talked to. I wasn't even able to listen to my ipod after church today!! I always do that!

So it was an interesting day, and its only 1:30!
~otaku