Church

I'm on my upstairs computer right now (as opposed to my laptop) and my posts look very pink on this computer!!! They look way more purple on my laptop!!! Its so weird!!! I like the purple better!

So anyway, I sang today in church!! It went okay. I was really nervous beforehand and I felt like I was going to pass out and throw up at the same time. Then, I got onstage (because of course, we moved to the auditorium and now the worship team has to be onstage) and I felt better. I was surprisingly comfortable! Though it is weird with the monitor things that they have facing the team so we can hear ourselves sing. It was very weird and difficult to get used to...X/

Overall it went well.
However, they had a prayer for the guy at my church who died. And since I didn't break down last night, I broke down this morning on stage. So I was crying in front of about 150 people while trying and probably failing to sing at that point. And I had no where to put my tissues!!! I was wearing a dress-like thing, so I couldn't even put them in my pocket and there was definitely no trash can on stage!!! Aaaahhhh!!!! (Its sad that the thing I was freaking out about more was that I had no where to put my tissues...)

My Dad had a theory about my crying (which I wouldn't have normally done in front of so many people. I would usually be able to control my emotions). He said that God was probably using my crying on stage to help someone in the audience - kinda to let them see that it is okay to cry about it if they need to. If I saw someone up on stage crying I would think Well at least I'm not her! And then I would feel okay about crying in public. In the car, my dad said jokingly, "Its makes you feel kinda violated, doesn't it? Being made a fool of to help other people?"
I just laughed. I dunno if I feel violated, I mean I'm open to being used by God for stuff like helping other people. It was embarrassing, but it wasn't as bad as it may seem. I always kind of pray about that. Not exactly that I will be made a fool of, but that I can in some way be an inspiration to people or be an example or something, but this works too X3.

I had a lot of people come and talk to me. It was weird. I'm not usually talked to. I wasn't even able to listen to my ipod after church today!! I always do that!

So it was an interesting day, and its only 1:30!
~otaku

I just realized that I still have a balloon in my room from my 16th birthday party!!! (That was over a year ago!!) And it still has a significant amount of air in it!!!
And I just threatened to kill my brother if he popped it X3
So, yeah, I'm sick today. Not really sick. Just nauseous a little and I've been kinda dizzy all day :(
And, I was stuck watching kids while the parents were in a meeting after church today! There were 9 kids! Which is a lot when you are dizzy and their running circles around you!!! DX
So, finally after about an hour of that, kids started to leave and I relaxed, which was bad, because I realized that one kid wasn't there anymore. He's 1-2 years old, I think, and he was walking alone down a dark hallway (we had started turning off the lights as everyone was leaving). Thankfully, he was talking to himself the whole time, so it wasn't hard to find him again :)
But they should not put me in charge of children when I'm sick...It was bad.
I also watched this show today, "Into the Pride" I think, on Animal Planet. It was about this guy trying to get a pride of lions used to humans. It was pretty cool. A couple times, he had lions charging at him because he got to close and he just waved his stick around and yelled, "Hey, Hey, Hey!" or "Stop it!" at them and THEY LISTENED!!! It was cool!! I also realized how very anti-wildlife my dad can be. He said we should just shoot them and be done with it! That's so cruel! They were in their own habitat! Why would we shoot them!
Of course, he also always talks about getting rid of our pets, but I won't let him. He's so mean to animals.
Sigh. My dad is usually pretty cool, but sometimes we have very sharp differences in opinion. There are a lot of loud arguments in my house. (Yes, Katherine and Rachel, believe it or not, I do have yelling matches with my father quite often).
I'm to tired to write anything more today.
Bye!
--Otaku--
PS: I was finally able to post my fanfiction chapter!! Its over 5000 words!!!