Turtle is NOT Nom!!!

Hehehe. Only Rachel and Kat will understand the blog title!!

So, got back from sleepover at chibi-chan's house. Very fun!! We watched Demyx Time 9 (my favorite episode):

"It has nothing to do with my MIND ERASING LASER BEAM!!!"

"I think Roxas should be renamed Biff. And then Ax-I mean-Demyx can visit Biff's room, because Biff is allowed visitors, and Roxis is not."

"I had a Keyblade once...well, I had a key...and a knife, and I glued them together, but that's almost the same!!"

"Like that time Axel stole all your eyepatches..."
"Yep."
"And the time he dyed your hair pink..."
"Yeah."
"And the time he glued your hands to your face..."
"That was weird."
"Yes it was."
"And the time he stole my eye. I'm a little sore about that one."

"I have to face east, kneel on the David Bowie mat, say his name three times backwards and Dance Magic Dance or the rains will never come?! Your prayers to David Bowie do not bring the rain Demyx!"

"Half this body is broken. I can only breath through one nostril."
"You can?! Where's the marble?!?!"

"Demyx, where did you get this from?"
"The fridge."
"Where in the fridge, Demyx?"
"Vexen's shelf in the fridge...It had a sign on it, but I couldn't read it, but it had my name on it, so I figured I was allowed it..."

"You can't touch my sitar. Not once. Not even twice!"

"Axel, why do you have Chester?"
"I'm babysitting. Chester-sitting! But not sitting on Chester! I'm just looking after him -- Chester-looking-aftering!!"
"In the bag"
"He doesn't like dark places!"
"In the bag. I'm number 2"
"Okay :'("

So enough random Demyx Time quotes...We also watched the Leather Pants video. If you haven't watched it, its in an earlier blog entry of mine. Its hilarious!!

Other than watching random youtube videos, we pretty much talked and slept...Yay!
We have decided that we MUST go to an anime convention next summer, probably Otakon. Because that's kind of close and its awesome!
I think that would be fun!!

Unfortunately, manga-dealer-chan was not at the sleepover. I guess she had something to do :(
Oh well, she has a life. Unlike the rest of us X3

Well, that's all, really...I'm too tired to remember anything more.
Oh! I'm going driving today, because I'm supposed to have 25-30 hours of practice done by my next lesson, which is next week. I only have about 15-20 right now...so I'm getting there, but I still need to practice...
And after driving practice, my mom and I are going to go bike riding. That will be fun X3 I actually really like to bike ride. I prefer it to running and walking and such.
So yeah...
The end!!

~otaku-chan~

Tsubasa Day

So, Friday (May 21st) was Tsubasa Day!! Yay! Woot!
Anyway, I decided to make another long post, this time all about Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles (which if you have not read, you MUST READ!!! The anime is okay, but I definitely recommend the manga X3)
Well, here are some pictures up first:

~Tsubasa Reservoir Poster by huntybounter.deviantart.com~
(One word: EPIC!)

~Tsubasa - Sing for Absolution by ECK.deviantart.com~
(Aww...Fai's so cute ^_^)

~Tsubasa Chronicle by Rueme.deviantart.com~
(Very cool picture X3)

~Fay D. Flourite by nyuchi.deviantart.com~
(Chibi Fai = XD)

~Magical Formula by inma.deviantart.com~
(I follow her on deviantart. This artist is AMAZING - especially with her CLAMP fanart stuff)

~Innocence by inma.deviantart.com~
(Same person as the other picture. The twins are so cute!!!)

Now here are some awesome cosplayers:

~Tsubasa Chronicles - Sakura by kirawinter.deviantart.com~
(Just amazing 0.o)

~Facade by zimiel.deviantart.com~
(This person makes an INCREDIBLE Fai. Like, if Fai came to life, he would look just like this!)

~Don't Save Me by zimiel.deviantart.com~
(wow...O.O)

~Light of Truth by zimiel.deviantart.com~
(What I said when I saw this: "...Holy crap! It's FAI!!")

So I also decided to post a bunch of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles videos up...because it is awesome!

Oh, and as a warning, there are probably spoilers for some stuff because there are clips from the OVA episodes that happen during and after the Tokyo arc of the manga. Lots of stuff happens there...





































This is a skit I found that is pretty epic:



And to lighten the mood after those rather emotional videos:









And, in as a tribute to Tsubasa, I made my own AMV!! To the song "The Escapist" by Nightwish. There's no real story to it. I just put together some awesome clips. Its not my favorite AMV (that's my Zack one) but its alright...



I realize that most of these videos are about Fai. Well, that's because Fai is amazing and my favorite character, possibly of all time!!

So, end of long post. Not many words. Mostly pictures. Give me a break, I'm still getting over my sickness and I'm tired...X3

~otaku-chan

Awesome Vid

JenxtheJinx (aka Jenn from Demyx Time!) posted an awesome cosplay video, showcasing many of her awesome cosplays!! (So this is obviously not me. But Jenn is awesome and I wanted to promote her video X3)

The Odyssey of a Jr. Otaku!(^x^)

Yeah i'm bored.... again so (aww i lost the game!!) I am making a post to annoy Ka- I mean sis-chan. I just cant wait until summer! I really want to hate computer class but the teacher is so nice even when she does the dreaded dictations!
By the way, you can tell its me by the Saix kitty (^x^)
I made a picture today of saix kitty staring at demyx fish. At the bottom it said "Dinner"!(^x^)
Pablo is right next to me purring creepily....(*o*)
Well i think its time to stop. Bye!

XD

So, I was feeling a little better today, so my Mom took me shopping. We went to this one store because they were having a 30% off everything sale. We get there and find that the store is actually closing down and everything in the store is 50-70% off!! It was awesome! I got a bunch of cute shirts for summer X3

Then, we went to another store and I found a bunch of tank-tops and capris and shorts. It was awesome. And I got this really cute necklace that I saw and it reminded me of Kingdom Hearts, so I got it XD. It's awesome!

So I'm really happy about that, and I also found out today that I'm getting a car this week!!! A friend from church is selling a cute little green Volkswagon convertible and its right in our price range!! My parents said we're going to take it for a test drive first, and if we like it, we're going to buy it and bring it home this week!!! I don't have my drivers license yet, but I'm scheduled to get it in June!!! Woot!!!! XD XD XD

I'm happy ^.^

~Kaitlyn

Kingdom Hearts =D

(Kingdom Hearts II ~mandi-chan on deviantart.com)

I just added a bunch of Kingdom Hearts songs to my playlist!! XD

I didn't add every single one - just my favorite ones and ones that don't give me bad memories from the game...like the Wonderland ones...*cringes*
I got stuck in Wonderland for the longest time in Kingdom Hearts I. I was so confused!!! And that stupid music was just playing over and over again and it still makes me cringe every time I hear it!!!


I'm such a nerd that I can pretty much tell you exactly what's going on in the game when I only hear the song. Its sad. But I'm not the only one!! The comments on the songs on youtube are all about what happens in the game and how the boss was hard, or the boss was awesome, or what people were saying when the song was playing!!

That just goes to show how awesome the Kingdom Hearts soundtrack is. That people actually remember the songs from different parts of the game!!

Probably, my favorite songs are:

1. 13th Struggle (Axel's Battle theme!!!!)

2. Roxas (Roxas' Theme when he gets turned back into/absorbed into Sora -- "It looks like my summer vacation is...over." Its so sad!!!)



3. Shrouding Dark Cloud (When you fight Guard Armor -- don't know why, but that's one of my all-time favorite bosses...and the music is epic and that boss is what made me love Kingdom Hearts first!!)



And I love all the rest of them as well, except the wonderland stuff...

It seems that Kingdom Hearts songs have three categories (1) Battle -- makes you feel like picking up your keyblade and killing off a bunch of Heartless (2) Sad -- makes you feel like crying and hugging your friends (3) Bouncy/Happy -- that you just kind of have to bouncily dance to...

Funny story: I was on the way out of school one day last week and was listening to Simple and Clean (opening version) on my iPod on the bus. It was kinda dark and looked like it was about to storm. It was very much the same atmosphere as the beginning of Kingdom Hearts when those clouds of darkness come and swallow Destiny Island and heartless are crawling around everywhere!! I seriously felt like that creepy voice was going to start talking to me and saying "Do not be afraid." and then I'd have a keyblade in my hand and then Riku would show up and try to drag me into the darkness with him -- like this:



It was epic! (And I would have gone with Riku X3)

On another note, what is it with Kingdom Hearts putting the freakish scary bosses at the beginning?! I mean:





...Those are with, no training in the first one and then with only the little training you might have built up with the nobodies right before the second one...*shrug*...maybe that's what makes these games so awesome!! They're not easy right from the beginning!!

Very sad thing -- I tried to replay Kingdom Hearts II a couple weeks ago. I couldn't get past the Twilight Thorn (the giant nobody). I was in hard mode, but I still thought 'Wow...I'm out of practice...' It made me sad...:(

Sooo...I feel like putting up a bunch of KH Battle videos, so here are what I thought were the hardest bosses in each game:

Kingdom Hearts I:



(And that's how Roxas was born!! -- for Rachel: Sora became a heartless, and when someone becomes a heartless, a nobody is born, ergo Roxas.
Me whenever I play this battle: "Go Riku!! Use the POWER OF OBLIVION!!!!" ...I like this battle...XP)



(now that I think about it...I still haven't beaten Sephiroth...)

Kingdom Hearts II:



(The hardest boss in the series, in my opinion. He actually made me stop playing Kingdom Hearts II for like, a year, when I just couldn't beat him!!!)

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days:



(Mission #66; Day #256. Good luck Rachel XP!! Yeah, usually the heartless aren't hard to beat, but this one was freaking scary-looking and difficult!!)

Now for some awesome battles:



(Xigbar's battle was actually quite hard -- some say the 2nd hardest in KHII. I think he was just annoying. But its interesting to watch him walking around upside-down as he shoots at you...)



(My personal favorite battle. I mean: 2 keyblades, Roxas, Axel, FIRE!! What more could you want?! "Burn, baby!!")



(Dance, water, dance!! And you can skip the first 1:40 min because its just extra stuff that I couldn't find a video without...In watching this, I realized that Demyx has very sudden mood swings)



(Glomps Riku in the middle of battle?? Zexion does just want to be loved!! XD)



(OMZ! Light-sabers!!)



(Snowflakes of doom!!
And at first when Riku took the flying thingy, I thought he was just going to say, "Screw you, Sora! I'm outta here -- dragons are scary!!"
Yeah, this one was pretty hard, too...I'm not good with the ones you actually have a strategy to use and you can't just hit random buttons...I lost to this 10 times!! And I had to watch the cutscenes over and over and over and over again!!!!)

And to go along with this Kingdom-Hearts-themed post, I drew a couple things this week and last week:
They are both pictures/attempts at Lea (aka Axel's somebody) from Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep. I didn't have reference pictures for these, so I just drew what I could remember of his outfit from the few times I saw pictures of him X3
The picture above has a smiley-face. That was Kat-chan's doing -- I was drawing this during Envirothon =) And he is holding matches because at first I had him with fire, but Katherine pointed out that since he's not Axel yet, he doesn't have fire, so she suggested matches and I figured, 'Sure, why not?'

In this one, I wanted to draw Axel and his former self together. I like this one better than the other one, mostly because of their faces. I almost NEVER get Axel's face right, but I did pretty well this time, so I'm happy X3. They're holding sea-salt ice-cream because I couldn't think of anything else to have them hold. I think it looks cute though! ^__^
And I realized that I like drawing sneakers. They can be difficult sometimes, but they always make a picture look much more detailed when you draw the shoes detailed!!

Wow, really really long post X3.
If you made it this far, congratulations!!!! You win a virtual cookie!! *hands cookie to you*

I apologize for the many videos. I realize they may be boring for some...
Rachel, if you actually got through all this, I hope you see why I love the other Kingdom Hearts games so much!!

So ends the long post dedicated to my first love: Kingdom Hearts!! (well, actually, my first love was the Backstreet Boys...I was in preschool. I didn't know any better...)

~otaku-chan

A few updates...

I took my Astronomy final on Tuesday! It was...okay. Most of the questions were the same as ones from earlier tests, so I wished I actually looked at them more than I did.
A funny story about the final: I got there and I had to wait a little bit for some people to finish their finals before I had a seat to take mine. There was this guy there who was reading out of the same Astronomy book I had, and apparently he was one of the people in my class (The class I take is online, so I usually never meet the other people in my class). He starts talking to me about how he's practically failing the class and then he asks if he can sit next to be and copy off of my test. I'm thinking he's probably joking, so I laugh and shrug (that's how conversations go when I'm talking to someone I don't know that kinda scares me--I just shrug and laugh and hardly say a word). It was incredibly awkward and weird. I mean the guy looked kinda scary and creeper-ish!! DX I was relieved when they finally said we could go and take our tests and they sat him on the total opposite side of the room >___< So now I'm done that class!!! And the period I have in the library at school is now just like another study hall!!! (Maybe I'll actually work on my fanfiction again....maybe...I haven't written anything in a couple months. I'm a lazy writer...) Another, kinda annoying story: I got to school the next day and give the attendance people a note saying that I was out taking a final. They tell me my absence is unexcused and I have to go fill out a bunch of forms and have my teachers sign things and have proof from the college that I was there and everything!! What the heck?! It would have been easier for me to lie and say I was sick!! Gaaahhhhh!!! And speaking of sick, I was actually sick today and stayed home from school...I have something going on with my throat. I think I have an ulcer that got infected and swollen. It sucks...And its really annoying because only the right side of my face feels sick. My nose is only running out of the right nostril. My right ear is only draining. My right tonsil only is swollen. I have a headache only on the right side of my head!! It feels so weird!!! Oh, back to Tuesday and kinda unrelated to everything else. I went to the Tech school on Tuesday to the Senior Expo and went to see the Biotech lab with my mom and talk with the teacher again. Katherine was there!! It was a surprise (though I should have figured it out because she was working with a trifold thing for a presentation thing on Tuesday...The facts just didn't connect...) Anyway, her presentation was very cool! It was about nanotechnology and that is pretty amazing-sounding stuff!! You should definitely do that as a career, Kat-chan!! We could work together! I make the medicine (that's the kind of thing I want to do) and you can put it in your little nano-thingies and we can rule the world!! (wait...forget the last part...X3) Sigh...I hope I'll be in school tomorrow. Though I've been getting progressively worse as the day goes on. I think I'm getting a fever...I don't like fevers. They make me feel cold and hot at the same time and its really confusing... So...Oh yeah! I don't remember if I said this on here or not...You know that babysitting thing I did on Saturday (babysitting my cousins) I actually ended up getting $60 for it!!! I was surprised!! I didn't expect to be paid at all, let alone that much!! My aunt said its the standard rate ($5 per hour per kid) but still...wow...Well, money towards my cosplaying/PS3 fund!!

Other stuff: I've been watching these videos and laughing practically nonstop. They are hilarious, but as a warning, they are very slightly explicit (with mild swearing, no more than most TV shows like Bones and House).





~otaku-chan

Dedicated to LeahPeah...

Leah, I know you've been having a tough time in your life recently and I wanted to dedicate a post to you! I haven't known you for long, but I can tell that you are an awesome person who has had some unfair circumstances thrust upon you. I pray for you often to make it through these things you're going through. I can't claim to know what God has planned for you, but I do know that He has a plan for you. There is a reason these things are happening to you. Maybe to make you stronger, I don't know...But there is always some kind of purpose. That's why I've included these songs below. I'm not sure why exactly I'm doing this now, I just felt like it was something I needed to do...These are songs that help me when I'm going through tough and confusing times and I thought they could possibly be of some help to you too :)

Interesting stuff...

Hola!!
Anyway, there are 2 things that I wanted to say: I'm apparently for rent and I think somebody thinks I'm stalking them...Explanations:
1. So, tomorrow I'm going to be babysitting my cousins. That's not too bad except that it was just sprung on me today and I'm going to have to babysit for 8 hours. Without any kind of pay -- I mean, I can't charge family. That's just wrong. But I really need money right now and it kinda bothers me that I babysit practically every week - about 8-9 kids - but I've only ever been paid to do it twice...It really stinks because I feel like a bum because I don't have a job, but I do have a regular job, its just a volunteer job, so I don't have any experience with a paying job!!! Its kinda annoying, but I feel bad about being annoying about it. I mean volunteering is supposed to be a good thing, but sometimes I feel like its holding me back from getting a real paying job so I can actually realistically be independent in a couple years. Grrr...
2. There's this kid in my gym/health class that I think probably thinks I'm a weird stalker. I don't intend to, but it seems like almost every day, I follow the same route he takes to Chemistry!! We're in the same class, so its not all that weird, but I always somehow end up about 10 ft behind him when we're walking up and sometimes he looks back at me (kinda sideways-like when people are trying to tell if someone's following them). I seriously am not trying to be a stalker!!! I usually just keep an eye on where the other people from my chem class are going because half the time, we are in a computer lab on the first floor (where we have gym and health) but chemistry is on the 3rd floor, so its annoying when you walk all the way up and then find out you have to go all the way back down again!! So I look where people from my class are going and see if we are in the lab because sometimes someone hears that we are and then tell their friends, but not everybody in class (and I'm not friends with anybody in that class, so I never hear anything!!) So anyway, it was really bad today. Coming out of gym, I saw this group from my class going in the direction of Rm.123 (the computer lab). So I follow them because I figured we were in the lab and I just didn't hear about it. Then, they walk right past the lab. I'm confused so I continue to follow because maybe we're in a different lab. Then, I see some of them look back at me and I thought I heard my name mentioned...It was weird and they were giving me weird looks as if saying, "Why is the creepy quiet girl following us?" I realized they probably thought that I was being weird, so I wanted to say something, but my darned shyness prevents me from talking when I'm nervous especially, so I couldn't say anything, which made my presence even creepier, which in turn made me more nervous and panicked, which made me not talk, etc. It was a very awkward moment...I don't really care all that much that this kid thinks I'm a stalker. I don't particularly like him. I don't hate him either, though. So instead of taking the opportunity to totally scare someone and amuse myself, I will probably go out of my way to avoid going the same way as him now. I'd rather not have enemies...

Sigh. That is all the stories I have to tell. I have to somehow find time to study for my Astronomy final on Tuesday (I have to be out of school because that was the only day available to take it). So, that's going to be interesting...And Kat and Rachel, check your email if you haven't already. There's youth group on Sunday and I'm inviting you guys, manga-dealer-chan, and chibi-chan. The info's in the email.

In otaku-related news: I really really really want Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep to come out. 358/2 days was a slight disappointment in my opinion and I am really in need of a video game right now!!!! Here are the trailer and then opening scene of BBS to give a preview.







It looks freaking awesome!!!! Unfortunately the release date is still "Summer 2010" so...I'm not sure when exactly its coming out. I read somewhere June 27 or 28, but now I can't find where I read it, so I'm not sure :(
I really want that game. And Final Fantasy XIII and FF XIII: Versus...and we're back to the me needing money thing DX
But, this one is easily enough obtained once it comes out, so I'm looking forward to it!!!

And for Kat and Rachel, I call dibs on Terra (the dark-brown haired one). I'm not sure about him yet, but he seems like he could be really awesome with his explosion of darkness in one scene and his giant keyblade-turned-cannon/bazooka!!! (I don't think anyone has called him. Maybe chibi-chan. I may have to ask her about that...)
And for others who read the blog, don't ask. Just a thing our book black market (our group of friends) does.

Squid!!
~otaku-chan

Is it just me, or does that guy in the all black outfit remind you of Riku in his man-skirt outfit??


Edit: I just saw this now, there is apparently a Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles Day on March 21, 2010 to celebrate the manga!!! I think I should do something...not sure what, but something...

Demyx tastes like COOKIES

"Comic - something" by *tomato-rabbit on deviantart.com
(http://tomato-rabbit.deviantart.com/)

This is in reply to Rachel's comment about me frying otakus in my room and what they would taste like X3 (click and zoom in and you should be able to read it.)

Is is just me, or does it look like Axel is frantically trying to get out of a glass box in the last panel?? I can just see him saying "help me!!" but barely able to hear him because his voice is muffled by the glass so it sounds more like "eeehhl mm"...

Attack of the Sketches (Plus other random rants)

I decided to post some of my better drawings. That are actually in COLOR!!!!

This one I drew for chibi-chan. The result of some random conversations with her about the validity of a lawn flamingo as a weapon...which led to discussing it as an ice pick...which led to a picture in my mind of Zack making a giant Sephiroth ice sculpture, and a picture in her head of a chibi Cloud eating the ice sculpture 0.o
(Hence my calling her odd in the picture if you click and zoom in)
Oh, and the howling at the moon thing was a different conversation about which characters would howl at the moon with us. Zack most definitely would X3

The next 4 were parts of a Christmas gift for manga-dealer-chan. They are all Fai cosplaying as various other people (I actually had 2 more I think, but I forgot to scan them before I gave them to her X3. I think they were emo Fai and one other I don't remember...)
(Momiji from Fruits Basket)
(Train from Black Cat)

(Kurogane from...well Tsubasa-same as Fai)

(Honey from Ouran High School Host Club)

This next one was a birthday gift for chibi-chan. She likes kingdom hearts and is totally an Ed Elric fangirl, so I figured I'd mix the two! And this was the result!! (I actually brightened the colors in Photoshop, in case it looks a little brighter than other pictures)


This was for manga-dealer-chan's birthday. Going with the crossover theme, I crossed-over Vampire Knight and Ouran High School Host Club. And I actually tried to draw a background for this one...I'm not all that good at it...I need practice.

(I know the letter probably look totally screwed up. I had already drawn everything out and then, too late, realized that I was running out of room. And I couldn't erase because for some odd reason, I was coloring in the letters before I totally drew all of them out -- which is something I NEVER do!! For this exact reason...)

And I did make pictures for Rachel and Kat-chan, but I didn't scan them before I gave them away :(
So I cannot show you...They were, I believe:
For Kat-chan -- Kurama and demon-wolf Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho, with lyrics to..."Fight Inside" by Red...maybe...I think?
For Rachel -- Train Heartnet, of course! I think, if I'm remembering correctly, it was Train in his normal outfit and Train in his Chronos assassin's outfit (black coat with the high collar X3)

So...yeah. That's all so far. I just started drawing for people's birthdays like a year and a half ago, so there aren't many built up!

Anyway, totally on a different topic and in case you were wondering at all -- I'm still sick T__T
It sucks...I hate being sick. I was planning on working on my keyblade this weekend, but seeing as I can't stand up straight for more than about 20 minutes without practically fainting, that plan went down the toilet...
So -- kinda inspired by my video posts of Kingdom Hearts battles -- I felt like playing Kingdom Hearts today and I fought through the Ansem battle in the first game. It was interesting getting used to the controls because I haven't played for a while, but I was level 100, so it didn't really matter how bad I was sucking at fighting - it didn't cause all that much damage! Plus, I started it up and realized I had my favorite keyblade equipped - OBLIVION!! (The keyblade I wanted to work on). It made me so happy!!!
And a weird thing happened: There was this giant demon-like thing that you're normally supposed to fight during the final battle, but it didn't show up this time!! My brother and I were freaked out!! (It was probably something that's supposed to happen, but we just forgot about it since we haven't played for so long -- but I could have sworn there was a giant demon in a volcano that you had to fight at the End of the World before you could fight Ansem!!!)

Anyway, so after that, I wanted to play Kingdom Hearts II, but I couldn't find it!!! I freaked out, thinking maybe I lent it to someone and didn't remember, but then I found the case, but the disk wasn't in it!!! Its like an otaku's worst nightmare!!! Eventually, after about 20 minutes of freaking out, we found the disk hiding between two other cases in a drawer that my brother and I both checked 5 times already T_T

Crisis over: I started playing and decided to see how far my farthest one was. It was level 89, so not bad. But it bothers me that my KHI is at level 100 and my KHII is at level 89...So now I'm going to have to level it up...And I think that before I stopped playing that game for a while, I was working on leveling up my drive-forms, so I'll have to work on that, too. But once I get all that done, I will feel totally accomplished because I will be level 100, with max level drives, and the Ultima weapon (which is pretty awesome!! -- but which is one thing I don't have in KHI...)
But no!! Wait! I can't be accomplished in KH until I beat Sephiroth! Grrr...Sephy, why must you be so difficult!!! And why does your sword have to be so freaking long!!!
(And Rachel, you can't use this as an excuse for me not to lend you the PS2 so you can play the games! I can level up my game at any time and soon I'll be too occupied with Birth by Sleep to care much about the PlayStation! ;P -- I'm just kidding Rachel. If you end up not wanting to play the KH games, I'm not going to force you X3. Though, it seems like you really do want to play them ^__^)

Oh! And Rachel, I realized that I extremely over-estimated the hours for Kingdom Hearts in my comment on your blog. I said 200 I think. That's way over what I actually have. I think I'm at about 60 hours in both of my highest level save-files...And it definitely didn't take all that time to finish the game. That happened at about level 50, I think I remember, so probably somewhere around 20-40 hours...Its hard to tell because I fool around a lot and then I get up and leave the game paused for about 3 hours and come back and its still on and it counts those hours X3

Okay, strange and probably confusing stream-of-consciousness randomness is finished.

Squid!!

Recent Doodles

I felt like posting some doodles from the last few weeks to show some more recent pictures. These ones are smaller doodles that I just did in the margins of my notes during the 45 minutes of class or so. My mokona is kinda bad. I suck at drawing Mokona. Don't know why--seems like it should be simple?

Below is some random pirate-ish guy. I think he looks kind of like Lavi from D.Gray-Man...That was unintentional. I just noticed it now...

This next one is just random/generic girl in a plain dress. I wanted to draw something with wind blowing and decided to draw a background. Its a suckish background. I need to practice that...

The next picture I like! Its Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji!! The face isn't exactly right (I can never draw character's faces right!!) But I still like the rest of the picture. I'd say its pretty good without having looked at a picture of Sebastian while drawing it X3

The last one is my favorite picture that I find little wrong with--except the legs. They're like noodles!!--Other than that, I experimented with very curly hair and I think it turned out alright. I actually had the idea for the dress and drew that first then added the hair and face and everything.
This picture is kind of inspired by Momma Sox (Crystal Bowersox) on American Idol. She's awesome. And I just watched the episode from yesterday when I finished this drawing, so that's why it kinda looks like her...kinda...and that's why she has a microphone.

For some reason, I find it easier to draw on lined paper than on plain paper. Maybe the emptiness of the blank paper scares me, so with lined paper, there is less pressure!! I dunno. I just tend to draw better on lined paper X3
Squid!!
~otaku-chan~

PS: In case you read my last post and were wondering, my AP test went...OK. The multiple choice was pretty easy. I only left 3 blank. The open-ended was freaking, ridiculously hard!! I only answered about half and I really not confident about the half I did answer!! Gaahhh!! And it was freezing in the gym (where we took the test). I mean, I was wearing a sweatshirt and I was shivering. I feel bad for chibi-chan next to me with a short-sleeved shirt on!!

PPS: Chibi-chan and I had an interesting conversation during the break about Zack Fair taking the test, then running after a chocobo. The chocobo changes into a silver chocobo. The chocobo was apparently magical! Then, it puts on a santa hat and starts singing Christmas songs. Then, it attacks Zack and pins him down, still singing Christmas songs in a ridiculously high-pitched voice. Zack tries to harmonize with him. Then, Hojo comes in with a giant needle and sticks it in the chocobo's butt. The chocobo turns into Sephiroth (still with the christmas hat on). Apparently, Sephiroth was high...and when he is high, his voice goes up in pitch and he turns into a Christmas chocobo. Conclusion: Sephiroth is Santa.
Expansion: (like the story Kat-chan told us on Saturday about the guy finding a dead deer on the side of the road, dressing up as Santa, lying down next to the deer, and traumatizing the minds of the children on the bus that drives by) Sephiroth dresses up as Santa and lies on the side of the road. Zack dresses up as a deer and lies next to him. Cloud is one of the children on the bus whose minds are traumatized. The End.
(That was a very curt summary. Sorry. Too tired suddenly to write more details. And apparently to form full sentences.)

Many Thanks!!!

Leah:
"End every day with a smile on your face"--That's a good policy :)
I'm sorry you're forced to struggle with so many things. I see the things you post about and your life has been hard--a whole heck of a lot harder than mine, yet I'm the one complaining X/
And 11 and 12 are hard ages. The awkwardness of puberty is starting and its when you're most susceptible to the opinions of others and self-esteem gets damaged the most then, I think. And it takes a long time for that pain to go away. I'm still trying to pick myself up after the emotional turmoil of that time (as I talked about in the last post).
I wish you luck in leaving it behind. And I think that even when your having trouble in your life, God loves you. In fact, that seems to be the time when I feel closest to Him--when I'm struggling. He wants you to come to Him for help with tough things like learning to love yourself.
After I wrote my post and then prayed, I felt a lot better about myself. I know that God loves me no matter how hard that is to believe sometimes, and no matter how mediocre I believe myself to be.
Kristen:
Thanks for your comments! Whenever someone accepts Christ into their life, it is a joyful time and I look back at that time fondly. My church actually does kind of have parties for people who accepted Christ. Whenever someone is baptized, the whole church is invited and its like a party with food and friends and everything!! That's one of the things I love about my church X3
Kat-chan:
Thanks SO MUCH for your post. Its like, I knew all that stuff already that you said, but sometimes, it just takes being told by someone you trust. I don't really know what to say after that, but it made me happy. I don't know how I would live if I didn't have you and Rachel and chibi-chan, and manga-dealer-chan!!
Rachel:
Thank you. I really appreciate you being there for me :) You are such an amazing person and it amazes me how nice and faithful you are all the time! You are probably the nicest person I have ever met and you really helped encourage me to grow in my faith and act on it.
And those are some interesting fears X3
Apparently, I was in a tornado when I was younger (like 1-2 yrs old). My mom was at work and came home to find the roof blown off of our house. Everyone was okay, thankfully.
I love you, too!!! 8D

Anyway, thanks to all of you for supporting me! You guys are awesome!

Today a bunch of people were taking AP tests, so my classes were only about half as full as they usually are. My AP Calculus test is tomorrow X/
This is my first AP class, so I don't know what to expect! I think I'll be okay though. Anywhere from 68-108 out of 108 is a 5 (the highest score you can get). I'm aiming for a 4 or 5. Math is my strongest subject, but Calc is hard, so I don't know how I'm gonna do!
The calc classes are getting together tomorrow at 7am before the test to have a breakfast. My calc teacher is so cool! She is probably the nicest teacher ever and she set up calculus parties and everything. That's why I feel so horrible falling asleep in her class sometimes, because she is so nice and I don't want to hurt her feelings, I'm just tired!!

On another subject, my brother came home today from school with a bag in his hand. Apparently, they had a book fair at his school today. And being the otaku-in-training that he is, he bought a book of Naruto posters!!!! He let me have 3!!!! That made me really happy X3 I hung them up on my walls right away. Plus, tomorrow, he's going back to the book fair tomorrow and I gave him money and asked him to buy more of the posters for me to hang up because recently, I've been otaku-fying my room. I have a wall right across from my bed with pictures taken out of Electronic Gaming Monthly magazines, anime DVDs, video game booklet thingies, drawings by my brother and chibi-chan and manga-dealer-chan and me, etc. I just didn't like having an empty wall, so I decorated! I should put up a picture some time...

Anyway, gotta get to sleep now. I don't want to fall asleep during the test. That would really really really really SUCK.
ttfn!
~otaku-chan~

PS: my right shift key isn't working and its really annoying me because that's the one I use the most!!!

Post Prom = Fun (and some other angsty stuff)

As you can guess, from the title. I just got back from post prom. It was from 11pm to 5am. It is 6:03am right now.
First, we went to chibi-chan's house for party:
-tacos
-M&Ms
-Sherlock Holmes Movie
-Win
(I lost the game)
Then, post prom:
-Bouncy blow up things
-air hockey
-pinball
-food
-bands
-tiki bar (w/ little umbrellas X3)
-prizes
-Yay!

....
I may include more specific details tomorrow. I'm too tired right now :)
...I'm not sure why, but I've been feeling a giant blow to my self-esteem today. I'm not even totally sure why. I just feel ugly and ordinary and invisible. Lonliness and invisibility are probably my greatest fears, which is kinda hypocritical, because I'm a shy person and do not make friends easily so I pretty much bring my fears unto myself. I know that I have a problem and I'm working really hard to fix it. I joined the worship team. I talk and participate in class sometimes. I wave to people in the hallway. I have the most friends right now that I've ever had in my life. And they're all really close and great friends! They are awesome and beautiful people and I sometimes get this overwhelming feeling that I don't deserve friends like this. I'm fat and ugly and I don't talk to people easily - and when I do talk, I can be horribly cold and say stupid things sometimes. I'm incredibly mediocre at so many things. Its like, people have all these blessings and they're really good at certain things--I feel like I'm "good" at a lot of things, but I'm never "great" at anything. I'm not totally sure what my place is in this world. I know I have some kind of place --I'm not sure what it is, but God always has a plan. It would just be nice to know sometimes what that plan is so we can stop feeling so useless.
I don't think I've ever told anyone this, but sometimes I feel like I've been put on the earth to die for someone. Its a totally romantic kind of thought -- that my life's purpose is to sacrifice myself for someone else. I don't know if its paranoia or what, but I have always felt that I'm not going to live long enough to die of natural causes. At first, when I was around the ages of 4-10, that possibility scared me. I didn't like to think about the vast unknowns of death and the nature of the universe and deep stuff like that. But sometimes the thoughts popped into my mind and they scared me so overwhelmingly that I would cry myself to sleep for weeks at a time. Sometimes, my mom heard me and came in to comfort me. I just told her I was afraid of dying and she said that it wasn't going to happen any time soon. I just nodded and kept crying into her shoulder. Then, I started actually believing in God somewhere around 6th Grade. I mean, I said I believed in Him for a while, but I never really knew what that meant and I spared no thought for Him outside of church. I matured and started understanding things a little better. I still acted immature, but I thought more maturely when I wasn't surrounded by the peer pressure to do mean things to conform with the group.
One day, I remember as a really pivotal moment in my journey to belief is when I was sitting in the car with my mom. I think we were out shopping or something like that. The song "Me and Jesus" by Stellar Kart came on. I said, "This song must be really popular. I hear it every time I'm in the car and we're listening to the radio!" and it was true - it was on every single time. Then, my mom said, "Really? I hardly ever hear this song! Hmm...Maybe this is God's way of telling you something?" I was stunned. It had never occurred to me that God, the "Almighty One" who created everything, could care enough about me to speak to me individually and through music. The lyrics are this:

When there's nowhere else to turn
All your bridges have been burned
Feels like you've hit rock bottom.
Don't give up - its not the end.
Open up your heart again.
When it feels like no one understands
Where you are:

Someone loves you
Even when you don't think so
Don't you know?
You got me and Jesus!
By your side - through the fight
You will never be alone
On your own
You got me and Jesus!

After all that we've been through
By now you know I've doubted, too.
But every time my head was in my hands,
You said to me:

Someone loves you
Even when you don't think so,
Don't you know?
You got me and Jesus.
By your side - through the fight,
You will never be alone
On your own
You got me and Jesus.

Hold on to what we got
This is worth any cost
So make the most of life
That's borrowed
Love like there's no tomorrow!

Someone loves you
Even when you don't think so,
Don't you know?
You got me and Jesus.
By your side - through the fight,
You will never be alone
On your own
You got me and Jesus.

Even when you don't think so,
Don't you know?
You got me and Jesus.
By your side - through the fight,
You will never be alone
On your own
You got me and Jesus!

Someone loves you
Even when you don't think so,
Don't you know?
You got me and Jesus.

You will never be alone - you got me and Jesus!

That moment made me realize that God does talk to you! You just have to listen! From then, I started to clean up my act. I realized how badly I was acting and worked to fix myself so that I could stop being a bad person. I'm still working on that goal.
Also, when I started believing in God, the prospect of death didn't scare me as much anymore. I accepted it. I am still sad when people die, but death just isn't as scary. One part of "Marvelous Light" by Charlie Hall really sums up how I changed:

Sin has lost its power.
Death has lost its sting.

That's how I felt when I was reborn and accepted God into my life. I accepted death. Now, that doesn't mean I'm going to take it lightly. It is a serious thing. I'm just not going to fear it anymore. My paranoia that I'm going to die early as a sacrifice for someone else is still here -- the difference is that I accept that as a good way to die. It would mean my life held meaning. I've actually straight-out said to God, "If you want for my life to be used to help someone else find you and follow you, I'm fine with that. It may still scare me, just a little bit, but I think you know best and I know that if I die, I will live on and if my death somehow helps someone else to the same fate, I'm all for it!" I think that's what it means to be a fully devoted follower of God -- to give up your own life (literally or figuratively--if that makes any sense at all...kinda like, giving up your "lifestyle") in order to follow God's will instead of your own. I didn't know it at the time, but maybe this seemingly-romantic willingness for self-sacrifice was a huge step for me to take towards God. Since I've made that decision (probably about 6-12 months ago) I've noticed myself changing. I think about what God's will is often and wonder if I'm doing the right thing to follow it. Fears that I used to have are gone. I'm not afraid of roller coasters. I can get do oral presentations without an incredible amount of nervousness. I am comfortable getting in front of 150 people on stage and singing!
Related to my joining of the worship team -- You may or may not remember my first time up on stage. A quick recap: it went fine until the pastor announced the death of a man at my church and we prayed for him for about five minutes, it was too much and I cried. On stage. In front of all those people. I think that experience is the kind of self-sacrifice that God wants me to do. I cried and completely embarrassed myself in front of all those people. But maybe that outburst was used to allow someone in the congregation to see that it is okay to cry, or something like that. I don't know the exact reason, but I definitely had the feeling that I was being used. After the initial embarrassment, I was actually okay with it. It made me happy and I look back on that as a positive experience instead of a negative one!

But even with all this faith in this stuff, I still have my doubts and my weaknesses that are still in need of improvement. I have a wonderful, happy family and amazing friends, but I still feel overwhelmingly lonely sometimes. I'm not entirely sure why. I'm still really shy and cold to people I don't know incredibly well. I can't even show my friends all sides of me yet! But I also feel invisible and hate that feeling so much!
And one odd fear that I don't totally understand: I have a fear of large, open spaces. They are pretty to look at, but not to be in. It could stem from my fear of loneliness. It is also the reason my room is messy (yeah, right. now I'm just making excuses!) But really, after I clean my room, my room scares me. It seems so empty and large and my bed is right in the middle of it. I can't sleep without curling up in fetal position after my room is clean. When my room is cluttered, it feels smaller and less empty, so I'm comfortable, even if it means I can't see my floor.
Now, all that angsty stuff is out, I actually feel better. These flashes of emotion come and go often and at inconveniant times...I'm sorry if I made anyone sad :(
Now, I really have to go to sleep. I spent an hour writing this. It is now 7:13am and my family is waking up. So I need to be asleep!
~otaku-chan~